I realize I'm not the first to lose a spouse, but I'm experiencing a number of firsts for me--including the first major holiday without Sharon. I'm still angry that a vibrant woman who worked so hard to maintain her health and fitness was cheated out of fullness of life. Angry at whom? I haven't quite figured that out.

In the meantime, those around me--family and friends--are doing their best to make me realize how lucky I was for 43 years to have her in my life, to love and be loved, and to enjoy so many accomplishments with her. Thanksgiving was spent with three delightful young grandchildren who did their best to make the holiday easy for me. We enjoyed some of Sharon's recipes for the Thanksgiving feast as if, somehow, she were still with us. Maybe she is. Maybe that's how the healing starts.